Coaching

Relationship Coaching: Relationships are not for the faint of heart

Here’s the thing about being in a relationship. God brought you two together in the hopes that you’ll either:

Learn something from each other (Reason)
Spend a period of time sowing or harvesting together (Season)
Be together until death do you part (Lifetime)

A relationship can fall into one of these three categories. Most people are out here looking for number 3. But you have to remember — not every relationship is for a lifetime! Statistically and logically speaking, it’s impossible.

As a result, you should embrace those relationships that fall into categories 1 and 2. You won’t be able to fully appreciate a lifetime with someone unless you’ve learned the reasons for love or endured a season of growth with someone.

Interested in more relationship coaching? Contact me!

relationship advice

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Coaching, Inspiration, Writing Therapy

Weight Loss and Wellness Coaching: Finding your inner strength to lose weight

Hi Friends,

Obesity continues to provide the CDC with alarming statistics for the death rates of Americans. I’ve encountered many people who believe the big fat fatties of the world would lose weight if they just try to lose the weight. Those people should recognize, however, that most often obesity and living for a prolonged time being overweight is actually a symptom, NOT a cause.

Perhaps it was the death of a close family member or friend that causes you to eat more, or the consuming doom of depression that keeps you from the gym or even a past guilt, pain, anger, circumstance, grief, etc. predilects your self-destructive nature. You’ve probably tried to lose weight, but it hasn’t happened consistently and every time you “fail” (whether perceived or legitimate), you choose to withdraw and the guilt of being overweight is washed over you all over again.

Once we understand that obesity and the state of being overweight is a symptom and NOT a cause, we understand that we must root out what is the cause and subsequently remove the cause from the equation, using a vast array of tools, including but not limited too much praying and buckets o’ tears.

Personal story time:

For me, the cause for my 15-18 years of being overweight was a feeling of being un-whole. And those holes were so empty. Somerimes, to be safe, I would hide there in the roots of my depression. To hide the holes from myself, when I needed to appear okaybon the surface, created a lust and zeal for food. I began to fill those holes with food, which for me was every bit comforting.

But I did this strange thing. All the eating, coupled with a complete lethargy and vice for sloth, the pounds just kept coming. And major life setbacj or victory could be sure to correlate positively with my size. So I hid under clothes, and behind my Jansport backpack, and behind the jokes, because I still felt too exposed. I was lying directly to everyone about who I was, and no one could see me for who I really was. I resented people for believing that lie and I’m sorry for that. God told me I needed to remember to love his people. So thank you to the world, who saved me. My mom, my grandpa, my Dad, my grandmother, a host of aunts, uncles, cousins by the dozens, grands, great grands, and all that who got down on their knees to pray for me. set s whole new meaning to comfort food.

My Breakthrough:
My breakthrough came when I realized I had log ago believed a lie someine told me. The truth is in the light. But in those shadows, those lies run rampant. And what with my insecurities, I often picked up the lies. Some I discarded almost immediately because I was able to easily discern them. But in a weak moment, I picked up a lie or two that stayed with me. For years, I lived under the misguided belief that one’s beauty is defined by what you see. But why would God give us four other senses and innumerable other gifts and talents if we only needed sight to see the beauty of others?

Once I changed my thinking (or shifted my paradigm for the Stephen Covey fans) I beame overwhelmed by the truth. Heaking is defined as the revelation of truth. And surely, my soul was healed. Surely (church hum). The truth was this: beauty is NOT defined by what’s on the outside (DUH)! But true beauty is measured by the love in one’s character and the beauty of their downright soul. With this epiphany, I came to the conclusion that I WAS, in fact, an extremely beautiful person and worthy and whole and AWESOME.

From there, all I needed to do was push my physical body to start reflecting the beauty within me. I deserved it, after all. I am now a self-proclaimed gym rat and healthy eating is now a part of my lifestyle! How exciting for me! And right now, I don’t care who knows it. You shouldn’t either!

Real Talk

Come on — how many times have you met a person (maybe family member, friend, boo thang) who, by society’s standards, would be considered hideous. But when they open their mouths or you make a connection with them, quite suddenly they become the most beautiful person you know.

Once the inner strength begins to shine (and you stop with the moping and the anxiety) your body has no choice but to step its game up and bring your sexy back.

Action Items:

  • Go get sweaty. Live an active lifestyle — doesn’t really matter what you’re doing (gym, rock climbing, walking around the neighborhood). As long as your heart rate is up, you are on your way to wellness
  • Repeat positive  affirmations to yourself while you’re getting your sweat on. I mean not one single negative thought about yourself. Push yourself here.*
  • Forgive yourself when you make a negative remark about yourself. Promise me that you will not crush yourself under the weight of your own guilt!
  • Once your body feels like it’s inner spirit has it’s back, I guarantee you’ll start sweating harder, your heart will beat faster and you’ll get closer and closer to having an outer body that reflects your inner light, strength and beauty.
  • Don’t cheat.
  • Work hard.
  • Stay the course.
  • Be strong.

Tweet, Facebook or comment and let me know how it goes!

 

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